Another strange piece, part of the same weird project as Maze in the Mists. House of Leaves had a lasting influence on me, and there is something just fascinating about the idea of a fictional character delivering a non-fictional analysis of a book that doesn’t exist. The difference here is that the latter will (hopefully) eventually exist. But that’s a far future sort of thing.
And if you enjoy my writing and would like to support it, please considering buying one of my books. It is timely, after all. $20,000 Under the Sea released just this month, and you can buy it in ebook or paperback format here!
Why did Taamir Ra allow himself to be taken by the Dead Queen? His companions’ reasons shouldn’t be any great mystery: For his brother, it was a desperate, knowingly doomed attempt to repel the darkness which would surely swallow the kingdom. For Tiresias and–but for an ancient pact–Jabez, it was brazen, stupid curiosity. For the masked man, it was compelled. Taamir’s reason should be no great mystery either, but it’s hard to trust you people: It was guilt.
Consider that for a moment.
It’s easy to dismiss many modern representations of guilt as melodrama since so few of you feel guilt anymore. “The weight of your sins? Grow up,” says the man with a soul of formaldehyde and jism. “Quit sulking.” Think of the last time you allowed yourself to be tormented by your past–for deeds no one would ever discover, that it would be immaterial for them to discover–and, perhaps, despair. The modern human is tormented by the consequences of their actions, they are tormented by shame, the pain of their true self being seen–the fear that it might be seen–but guilt is wallowing. An indulgence.
It wasn’t always that way. Edward Teach calls guilt the synonym of freedom: “You bond yourself to yourself to free yourself from everyone else.” If you are without guilt, then, what follows?
The lack of guilt is downstream of the hatred and envy which armors you against the terrible responsibility of that world that you–not you, specifically; it is crucial that it was not only you–have built. You became powerful, only to discover that power does corrupt. It burns like fire, and charred skin simply makes one pliable.
But unlike you, Taamir Ra still had his soul. He understood his sin and acted to absolve it. “But Persephone’s capture was engineered by Bas’ahra and the masked man. They manipulated him!”
So little wisdom remains among Christians that it’s easy to forget there is a great deal of wisdom to be gleaned from their discarded flesh. As it were, the Christian god is quite clear on this particular sin: Eve manipulated Adam–Adam still gets the boot. He had exactly two jobs to do: Follow the rules, and make sure she follows the rules. He failed at both. He did not impress upon her the importance of the task at hand, perhaps because he was too stupid to understand it, and when it came time to make sure she was actually listening, he fell asleep. The mistakes are boring, prosaic, and kind of pathetic, not the kind of thing you would think ought to cost an eternity of Paradise, but I assure you: The boring, the prosaic, and the pathetic are in fact an extremely dependable foundation for evil.
Taamir Ra should have seen through Bas’ahra’s incredible incentive to defect, he should have spirited Persephone away without telling her; failing that, he should have outwitted the masked man; failing that, he should have refused the Sun Priests’ job and left Khet, because if he were not there, Bas’ahra could not have succeeded in the way she did. By his very presence, he caused others to do evil successfully. That is sin, and sin ought to elicit guilt.
Where Adam had little choice but to accept the consequences of his failure, Taamir faced a decision. His failure caused a child to be buried alive, and his submission to the revenant which disgorged from her tomb ten years later might have atoned–but to what end? He could have simply run. Bas’ahra did.
But sin weighs on more than the sinner. The injustice of Persephone Elea’s death did not go unnoticed. Divine recompense brought about her return, and Taamir saw that, even if he could not know the particulars of the divinity. Perhaps he thought his sacrifice–even if it did not sate the Dead Queen–might adjust the karmic scales of Khet just so, might undermine the Queen’s right to the suffering she would inflict upon the city and the world. It might bring about a responsibility for those who could one day resist. A responsibility to do so, under pain of guilt.
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